So let me tell you about my day. I first put on some Barry White, then lit some scented candles, get out the coconut butt……………wait, that’s a different blog entirely. Hold on…*checks notes* AH! Yes, this is the OTHER blog. Okay. Well that almost got awkward and sticky.
Anyhue, I’m an artist. I know……..SHOCKING in this day and age, especially given the local job markets. I began with photography and have recently begun working in different mediums as a way to explore my talents as well as find my artistic voice/style. I’m in no means the next Picasso, Duchamp, Man Ray or Varo, but I do feel like I’m finally hitting that first good dot on the Twister game known as finding oneself. I am a full time student working on completing my BA in studio art and art history, which really breaks down to I drugged my husband into thinking that me not working is TOTALLY a win for our household and should need be, porn is always a very solid Plan Q.
I’m currently working on two different portfolios, one in drawing and the other in painting, while planning out a photography scavenge hunt for my summer break starting in May which should be also around the same time that my loving husband finally wakes up from his Roofie macchiato and learns of my clever ruse to rule the world through my art (and the paint stain in the garage) and decides that his efforts to smother me in my sleep no longer seems so difficult to do after all. He smothers me with The Pillow of Fluffy Death because he loves me people!! Don’t you dare take that away from him.
I do have to get some sort of website up very soon to display my work so when the gallery showing opens next month, I’ll have shiny, adorable little business cards to hand out that shows people where to see my stuff so they can say to themselves, “My word, that darling young lady really does have talent alongside those fabulous breasts of hers! We simply must give her our money at once!” This of course is spoken with a dignified British accent in my brain meats as I’ve been watching far more BBC shows than a person probably should be and I’m also a “Cumberbitch” because, seriously, is there anything hotter than intelligence AND a wicked sense of humor on a person???
Seriously. There isn’t. Intelligence + wicked sense of humor = me in a puddle of girlie goo. Which is why I’m so happy my husband hasn’t filed the restraining order paperwork and remained by my side for these past 14 years.
So my to-do list consists of:
- business cards
- photo hunt
- world domination
- fight club meetings (shit, wasn’t supposed to talk about that! DANGIT!)
- putting lotion in the basket
- and eventually afternoon tea.
So much time, so little to do…….wait, reverse that.