I know, I’ve been quiet. Not like anyone reads this.
Life has been a tilt-a-whirl for me. We got a new dog, Daisy, who’s just adorable as hell! My school work is currently killing me as I hardly have time to do anything fun let alone get all of the reading done. The drawing teacher I have is not quite my favorite as she’s got some teaching techniques that don’t mesh with me, and I am struggling with my ridiculous need to be “perfect”, which is amusingly ironic because I honestly don’t believe in the concept of “perfection”, so me constantly trying to achieve it is just a Ferris wheel of failure, and I STILL can’t win that damn fluffy unicorn!
Just…….I just want the damn unicorn.
Side note: I also have been pining for a Dalek beer stein. I wish I had someone in my life that does ceramics so that I could buy one off them. INTOXICATE!! INTOXICATE!!! Seriously, someone needs to make me this.
Anyway, back to the mind vomit. My struggles with depression popped up this last week. Most likely hormonally linked but still SUPER annoying in how it just sweeps in like a Miley Cryus song and wrecks havoc in my brainmeats, heart, and emotional well being. I feel like a failure at everything. I feel invisible to the world but, at the same time, don’t wish to be seen as then it allows everyone that sees me to view me as this insane ball of LEGIT cra-cra, and no one wants that feeling. Not having much social interactions is also not helping. I haven’t made connections at school which is intensifying the invisible feelings, which then tag teams with the feelings of failure. Yay, its a depression party in my head and all you negative bastards are invited!! *tosses handful of confetti sarcastically* Lamest party ever honestly.
I’ll get through it. I always do. I have to. Always keep fighting.
On to other things. I’ve got some art projects mulling around in my brain that I’ll work out and then do during the winter break to make sure that I don’t go further down any rabbit holes. Paintings, drawings, and sculptures is on the road map! I also need to get back to the gym or at the very least get a treadmill for the house so I can just work out at home.
Wow, I really am dreadfully dull. Ugh.