The world sort of sucks right now.

Yesterday started off pretty good, then it rolled very quickly into a pile of shit.

Like everyone with a heart, I was shocked and saddened by the tragedy of yesterday’s most recent mass shooting. Its sickening to understand that this is now a fucking common occurrence here! But this one is different. I’m friends with many people that work the Renaissance Pleasure Faire here in CA, in both the southern and northern ones. It was confirmed today that one of the victims of yesterday’s senseless act of domestic terrorism was a member of the community. His name was Daniel Kaufman and he was only 42 years old. His boyfriend spent most of yesterday getting conflicting stories about Daniel’s whereabouts, but received the devastating news that he had lost his partner.

I don’t believe I ever met him, but considering more than half my friends knew him, its as if I did. He had an amazing smile and a great laugh. He was always kind and loved to perform. He probably would have been inducted into my Harem of Fabulousness if I had gotten to know him. I see images of him at faire and he just looks so happy and content. One of the photos is so striking to me, I’m deeply considering using it to do a painting of him to send to his family.

I’m not going to go into any kind of rage fest about guns and this country’s worship of them. Its too exhausting and too maddening. I’m watching my loved ones grieve and cry in pain, and there isn’t anything I can do to help. This is the closet I’ve even been to a homicide.The closet I hope to EVER be, but I fear it won’t be.

I’ll never be able to wrap my brain around why guns are worshiped like they are. I’ll never be able to wrap my brain around why we continue to just let it happen. I’ll never, ever, be able to not vomit up rage and anger when I see the letters NRA.

This world sucks. Mostly because humans exist in it.