Preparing requires lots of rum

In about 2 weeks, I’ll be setting up a canopy in Alameda, CA for my first art fair. Getting several of my fluid paintings, illustrations, and photos all set up to unleash upon the masses in hopes that they’ll pay me to take it with them. I’m nervous and completely overwhelmed. My ADD is cackling at all the chaos it’s flinging at me, the little fucking bastard. I have to keep reminding myself that I do NOT need to add more to the piles of things that I need to bring or whatever. I am hoping that there is enough rum and weed in the world that can help keep me from running away to hide because honestly, hiding is currently my safe mode these days.

Got an idea last night on how to make the smaller fluid paintings a bit more “fancy” for displaying. Popped out to Joann’s for some supplies and after I artsy the fuck outta things, I think this will make the paintings a bit more interesting. *shrugs* We shall see.

In other news. I got a message from someone out of the blue that I’ve been searching for for like 16 years now! A very dear person whom I wanted in my life forever now because they are what I wish my own father was like. I sometimes would randomly look around the internet, hoping I could find them or someone that knew them so that I could get an address or email address so I could reconnect. I ended up finding only a different email address than the one I already had and sent them a note asking if they were whom I was looking for. Never got a response until yesterday!! I almost started crying when I saw it was really them! Hubby was just as happy, but more FOR me than with me. He knows how badly I wanted to find them, had begun to accept that they might have passed away, but each of the people searches I did never showed a death date so I figured they might still be with us. If they had passed, I wanted that information to have some closure. They were like a father figure to me, and considering how toxic my own relationship is at times, I really wanted to have them in my life. I gave them my phone number and hoping that I’ll hear from them soon. If I gotta pay money to fly them here, I totally will find a way to do it!

Shifting topics, my eyesight has caught up with my age in that I now need to wear reading glasses when I’m on my dying laptop and my phone. Meh, at least I look adorable in them, which I might add, is the most important point people!! I am determined to drown my anxiety, depression, and other mental crap with brightly colored nonsense and cuteness! If getting a giant stuffed unicorn rainbow sloth is going to make the mean voices in my head silent for just a few minutes while I snuggle with “Slothnado”, then bring on the giant rainbow plush sloths bitches!!!

Great………………Now I have to go look for giant rainbow sloth plushies.


Projects, projects, projects, keeps the insanity away!

Another semester is down and only one left to go! This one was pretty light in the way of work, but the stress was most certainly there. Hit a financial snag right at the start of it, thanks to the actions of a sick individual that I’d LOVE nothing more than to see ripped apart by a pack of starving crazed weasels with rabies. (Karma, come on! I believe its your turn up to bat, buddy!) The ceramics class was fun, frustrating, but cool to play with. I ended up with half a bag of clay left over so I’ll have to figure out what to do with, as well as how to fire it.

Drawing class was extremely frustrating, but I did however get to learn how to use color pencils better and THAT has inspired a massive urge to play with them more. The final assignment was to do a photo copy replica of an image based on other artists who work with color pencils. I picked an image of one of my obsessions, Tori Amos. I discovered her music in 1994, right at a time when I was trying to block out all of things that were tearing me apart. Her music got me through some of my toughest moments; moments when I was so close to not surviving them. Her songs were like the caring hugs that I needed during those times. When I turned 21, I got the piano notes of one of her songs tattooed on my right ankle with her favorite flowers wrapped around the notes. (Side note: Fiona Apple has also become just as important as Tori to me. Her stuff has been the rope I grab onto during dark moments. I plan on getting one of her songs tattooed on the other ankle) So when I needed to do a photo to draw, she was the first thing that came to mind. I chose an older image of Tori from around the time I discovered her to do as I figured it was fitting. It turned out amazing in my opinion. Several people in class mentioned how much they thought it looked good, and because of it I want to do more drawing like it. Here’s the image for all to enjoy. (Or at least those that actually read this blog.)

I think I did an amazing job, so I don’t care what anyone else says. Its my first time working with color pencils and I got a chance to understand how to color properly. Over the summer break, one of my personal tasks is to do at least three of these so that I can practice.

Speaking of summer plans, the scheduling of projects has begun so that I don’t lose my mind. I think I’m going to actually print up a work schedule so that I can stick to a routine, which always makes for a less crazy Strange Child! I’ve got my parents 50th in July, so I’ve got some crafting decorations to make. The projects I want to work on are as follows:
Finish my four elements paintings
3 Color pencil drawings
Sewing practice
New front door wreath
Eye flower bouquets
art studio organization
Random abstract artworks
clitoris sculpture for cousin

I will have to also schedule in workouts, getting out of the house (maybe even with Daisy), and hopefully some reading. The sewing practice is to help me prepare for the Doctor Who convention that we’ll be going to in February. I need to plan and make my costumes I want to cosplay. So excited for that! Hubby is also going to cosplay! EEEEEEEE! (happy dance) I’m going to have to make a dress form which I’m not looking forward to. (Oh yay, I get to look at a physical sculpture of my fat carcass.) I want to attempt a dress at the very least. I can get through a circle skirt so far, and I’ve got some throw pillows that need to be finished, but if I can manage a dress I’m gold!

So many projects!! Hopefully I will be able to be too busy to let the brain demons attack me. I don’t want to sink, so I’m laying out the ropes before the water gets too high.