Lamest Apocalypse Ever!

Holy shitballs Deadpool! It’s been almost and entire year since I last updated this. To be fair, I have been completely not busy. But just in case there are people who are interested, which I’m sure there isn’t, I’ll just begin with the highlights and then move on to the main show.

Tried to make art my “full time” gig, and didn’t do very well. Appeared at a couple different events, sold a couple pieces, but over all I wasn’t too successful. Hubby and I had an agreement that I would give it one year and then it was back to “adulting” since he’s the only one bringing in the finances and that’s a bit too much of a burden all on his shoulders. Unfortunately, just as I was starting to, the freaking world developed a plague so I’m stuck. (*pouts*  Me and and fucking timing) During this time of being in the Nothing, I worked on my illustrations, improving my graphic design skills, and trying very hard to not spiral. I had a bad March as the sudden lack of human contact basically dick slapped me in the mental health nutsack. (There’s a visual!)  I broke at one point. Felt like a human shaped cement block walking around. My ADD was all over the map, meaning I had brain fog and the attention span of a hamster unless I was on my phone, then my focus was in LOCK-DOWN on whatever was on the screen. I had completely forgotten the rule I had set up for myself about curbing my phone usage during the evening so that my focus was on my surroundings not the phone. Routines, rules, and plans are annoyingly a very important part of functioning properly for me. I may be an adorable glittery ball of whimsical chaos that smells of freshly baked cookies most of the time, but the chaos has to be reign in most of the time. But my inner Happy Fun Ball is getting the hang of working WITH the system to make it her own as opposed to avoiding it entirely.

Onto other more geeky fun news, our annual trip to Gallifrey One Doctor Who convention in LA this year was fun!! The 9th Doctor, Christopher Eccleston was there! I got him to sign a Pop figure that I got EXTREMELY lucky to find in the dealer’s room. That line is gone and with it being signed, I’m NEVER giving that thing up! (Especially after I spent literally over 4 hours waiting in line to see him.) Pearl Mackie, who brilliantly played companion Bill, was also there and she was just adorable! I didn’t go as crazy as I wanted to in dealer’s room because of finances, but luckily our tax refund happened to drop while we were there so Hubby took me out to the fancy steakhouse the hotel has for a Valentine’s Day dinner. (Boneyard Bistro remains the best steak I’ve ever had) We had made some friends while at the most recent Dickens Faire who were also going to the convention. They’re amazing at cosplaying so I am filled with geeky glee seeing what they come up with! The con also happened to fall during the time new episodes were airing so we got to watch the Mary Shelley episode on the last day of the convention with a bunch of us in the room hanging out. *Small fangirl rant: I LOVE 13, and I think her second season was much stronger than her first, which is usually the case. I do think she’d benefit more with a female showrunner, but I just roll my eyes at most of the criticism. It just feels like some fans are looking for flaws yet ignoring the fact that the male versions ALSO did those things and were celebrated. Ugh, 2020 is once again highlighting how ingrained sexism is across the board. Rant done*  Gally is the only con I really get a chance to get to and I love it! Already got our tickets for next year, provided the world isn’t still being Grounded.

Speaking of the apocalypse, I’m honestly glad it isn’t zombies. I really am! I’m not a runner, and I’m a total fucking coward so I’m totally gonna end up being zombie jelly. I could do without the rampant stupidity in this country. Its that hard of a concept to just fucking stay home. You all can thank Generation X for coming up the technology and ideas that have made this FAR easier than it would have been if this had happened in the 90’s. YOU’RE WELCOME, BTW!! Our generation is the last one to know what to do with ourselves on our own because we were raised that way. Most of us either had 2 parents working or one, so majority of us were “latchkey”, myself included. When we came home from school, we usually had a couple hours to ourselves. We had video games, movies, cable tv, our bikes, etc to go off and do whatever we wanted to as long as we were home “before the street lights came on”. We had chores to help out our working parents run the house. We even had to learn how to cook and do laundry on our own. So this is why X’ers are handling this SO MUCH better than most. My idiot parents who are high risk are “behaving” but my dad does go out and most of the time not with a mask, because “its hard to breathe with it on” *facepalm, screaming internally* So if anyone is going to get sick its going to be my mother, however since she’s decided that the best way to prevent herself from murdering my father is basically avoid him, she sleeps all day while he’s awake, and then spends all night by herself. To be blunt, my mother decided to be nocturnal so as to reduce the urge to smother my father in his sleep. *sigh*

I watch as little news as possible. Mainly for sanity purposes, but also because there simply isn’t enough rawhides in the world for me to gnaw on as while that fat orange racist kills us all. He’s so unbelievably stupid and ignorant and lacks even a smidgen of empathy because there isn’t enough room beyond his massive completely unearned ego. Yes, you might say I do not care for him. I try to hold onto this sliver of hope that we’ll kick his ass out, along with his all of his buddies and lackies, and start to fix all the carnage that this cockmuffin has committed. So while this lame apocalypse is going on, my life is this: making art, cleaning the house, taking care of the murder dogs, updating my artwork site, and only screaming into a pillow once a day that in November that stupidest man in the world will finally hear the world tell him to “fuck off”.

“Rebellions are built on hope”, as the saying goes. This all shall pass.

Shameless self promotion!

Hey! Yeah, you!! If you read my blog, and just so happen to live in the SF Bay Area, spend some time outside in Alameda this holiday weekend while shopping tons of arts and crafts, and drop by my booth to pick up some awesome art!! I’ll even pose with you in a selfie if you feel like being near me is like being near Heaven. Because it is. Its exactly like that. I swear. I have been known to strike people speechless. Mostly because of something I said, but THAT’S NOT THE POINT KAREN!! (apologies to any Karens out there, I’m sure you’re lovely)

My booth is right across from the information booth, so I’m easy to find! Please come out, otherwise I’m going to cry. And NO ONE wants to see that! Yup, totally laying on the guilt! If you don’t buy art, you’re letting the terrorists win! (I know, but I’m trying people!)

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Preparing requires lots of rum

In about 2 weeks, I’ll be setting up a canopy in Alameda, CA for my first art fair. Getting several of my fluid paintings, illustrations, and photos all set up to unleash upon the masses in hopes that they’ll pay me to take it with them. I’m nervous and completely overwhelmed. My ADD is cackling at all the chaos it’s flinging at me, the little fucking bastard. I have to keep reminding myself that I do NOT need to add more to the piles of things that I need to bring or whatever. I am hoping that there is enough rum and weed in the world that can help keep me from running away to hide because honestly, hiding is currently my safe mode these days.

Got an idea last night on how to make the smaller fluid paintings a bit more “fancy” for displaying. Popped out to Joann’s for some supplies and after I artsy the fuck outta things, I think this will make the paintings a bit more interesting. *shrugs* We shall see.

In other news. I got a message from someone out of the blue that I’ve been searching for for like 16 years now! A very dear person whom I wanted in my life forever now because they are what I wish my own father was like. I sometimes would randomly look around the internet, hoping I could find them or someone that knew them so that I could get an address or email address so I could reconnect. I ended up finding only a different email address than the one I already had and sent them a note asking if they were whom I was looking for. Never got a response until yesterday!! I almost started crying when I saw it was really them! Hubby was just as happy, but more FOR me than with me. He knows how badly I wanted to find them, had begun to accept that they might have passed away, but each of the people searches I did never showed a death date so I figured they might still be with us. If they had passed, I wanted that information to have some closure. They were like a father figure to me, and considering how toxic my own relationship is at times, I really wanted to have them in my life. I gave them my phone number and hoping that I’ll hear from them soon. If I gotta pay money to fly them here, I totally will find a way to do it!

Shifting topics, my eyesight has caught up with my age in that I now need to wear reading glasses when I’m on my dying laptop and my phone. Meh, at least I look adorable in them, which I might add, is the most important point people!! I am determined to drown my anxiety, depression, and other mental crap with brightly colored nonsense and cuteness! If getting a giant stuffed unicorn rainbow sloth is going to make the mean voices in my head silent for just a few minutes while I snuggle with “Slothnado”, then bring on the giant rainbow plush sloths bitches!!!

Great………………Now I have to go look for giant rainbow sloth plushies.

Moose nipples are totally a thing

I put that title up because no one freaking reads this blog as far as I know so I’m basically talking to myself here. I could shout about the many, many ways in which barnacle porn is the new hot fetish in SF or how a hippo once saved a sea captain during a terrible storm, and no one would know about it. Because I’m essentially invisible here. So I’m declaring that Moose nipples are not actual nipples but actually a new candy that taste like Batman eating a hot fudge sundae at the county fair because no one is here to stop me!!!

For anyone that IS reading this, ……..well hi.

Since I haven’t updated in like a year, let’s dust off the year and see what’s been happening. I’m still behaving with not eating tons of crap. Managed to lose 50 lbs and keep it off so far. I changed my hair color back to dark pink so its a bit more presentable if needed. Pigby and Daisy are doing fine, both are my wonderful little snuggle bugs. Pigby got a genetic test to see what breed she is and turns out she’s a full Staffy Terrier, aka a full pibble! She’s still skinny, so we’ve increased her food intake a bit to see if that works. She’s still snorty like a pig in a truffles field, but otherwise she’s amusingly healthy! Daisy is still very stump like, but I prefer my babies tubby. That way they’re too fat to run away and leave me.

Now for the more important stuff!! I finally graduated! I’ve got a degree now!! An expensive, kinda worthless studio art/ art history bachelors degree! YAY!!!!!!! LOL! last month, I decided to throw myself into mass panic by making art my career. So far I’ve opened up an Etsy shop, published a website, sold one painting to a family member, a print of another painting to a friend, and now I’m working on getting my business license. I’m also going to try to get booths at some local fairs so that’s why I needed the license. Hubby is helping me the entire way, but I’m still in charge of posting about my stuff. God how I hate promoting myself!! It’s one giant anxiety nightmare because I am more terrified by the silence than rejection. But promote it here I have! So there’s that!

Been working on a bunch of different paintings and illustrations. Basically, I’m trying to find my path, as usual. Mentally, I’m getting better. Feeling stronger, opening up more, and working harder at not continuing bad behaviors or routines. Meds seem to be working better now, health seems okay, and not missing sugar all that much………….well not AS much. Cutting sugar and junk really has helped so its hard not to acknowledge how I REALLY need to stick to healthier eating habits. But I’m still eating pizza!! I tried a Keto crust,……..and…….no. Everything else works out fine so far.

I don’t really have a clever witty way to end this post. But do I really have to be clever to just myself? I mean, I know that I’m legit cray cray, but does amusing only myself push me further in Crazy-town? Wait, is there a place called Crazy-town???!! Do they have mini golf or skee ball there? Is it called crazy because of the town or because of the people there? How’s the WiFi? Wonder if there are pibbles there that need a good home……….

Life moves pretty fast

Last I posted was the beginning of the year. I started my final semester, a new way of eating, and a new year in life. To quickly catch up on the state of the Strange Child, there’s been some changes.

I managed to lose 30lbs so far and the changes to my eating habits haven’t been as difficult as one would think. I didn’t realize how much of a sugar addict I was until I removed all that was “naughty” from my cupboards. I’ve experimented with substitutions for things I used as staples (rice, pasta, potatoes), to more low carb options (cauliflower “rice”, sweet potatoes) that were successful. Other substitutions, (zoodles) that didn’t work out so well. I’m feeling better, but I need to make an appointment to get new bloodwork done. For now, its continuing what I’ve been doing.

Another development recently was a new addition to the household! We adopted another dog, who’s ridiculously adorable!! She’s two years old, a pibble mix we think, and is a bit of a “special needs” dog. She was born with a deviated palette and a deformed lower jaw so her tongue hangs out all the time. She also snorts loudly like a pig, which is why we named her Pigby. She requires only a little bit of extra help in that she has to be cleaned up after when she eats or drools, so she’s like a toddler that never grows up. Daisy and her get along great, chase each other and play. We’ve taken both of them out separately into public to see how they behave and both did very well. Daisy still has this need to smell all the things, while Pigby just wants to hang out and meet people. My babies are awesome!! Here’s a couple shots of my babies:

See???!! Cuteness overload triggering brain explosions!

Beyond being covered in pibble awesomeness, I am finally done with school. I will have my Bachelor’s degree in my hand at the end of the week. My parents are coming up to celebrate this weekend, friends are joining us as well to BBQ (provided Bay Area weather isn’t too bad) and with that, I’m done.  I’ll be starting to look for work and ways to continue making art, and hopefully selling it as well. I know I’m not interested in going back to making average pay, stuck at a desk, normal hair, and covering up my tattoos for a 9-5 where yes I’m appreciated but its just meaningless.

I am tired of being invisible. I want to be seen.

Alright Universe, you made your point!

“I’m fucking done with sadness, and I don’t know what’s up the ass of the universe lately but I’ve HAD IT. I AM GOING TO BE FURIOUSLY HAPPY, OUT OF SHEER SPITE. … I’m going to destroy the goddamn universe with my irrational joy…”- Jenny Lawson, from her book Furiously Happy

I got recent blood work done and as I see it, it’s the Universe finally smacking me so fucking damn hard in the back of the head to get my attention. The Universe sometimes needs to be a royal cunt about getting her point across, but she’s going to make it whether you like it or not. According to the tests, my hypothyroidism is still very much an annoying thing, but now I’m pre-diabetic. This means I’m now officially at a crossroads regarding my health that I, temper tantrum brewing within, must do something about my weight. I can’t ignore it.

Whenever I attempt to do something like this, my brain demons crawl out of their holes to lash out at EVERYTHING. The little bastards just fight every idea, zap whatever energy I have, and put up mental roadblocks all over the place. I swear, the fuckers even attach a 4000lbs boulder to my waist making it physically difficult to do even the tiniest of attempts toward my goal. Self-sabotaging twatgoblins!!!!

I’m already struggling against another bout of depression, one that’s drained me to almost empty. I got my MMJ card last year and a few nights ago my usual bedtime head conversations wandered over into a poorly lit area of my brain. It ran across Jenny Lawson’s book, Furiously Happy. In it was the above quote and, as if the weed had sprinkled glitter on the thought, it began to shine. I should be furiously happy too!! DEMENTEDLY HAPPY BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *insert evil diabolical laughter*

There are at least four things to keep in one’s mind when starting this according to Lawson. Since I’m positive she and I could very easily be insanity twins, I believe I will be able to beat the balls off of the mental twatgoblins that live in my head. I mean, they never pay rent, leave their wet towels on the floor, and they keep licking the walls. Who licks walls??!! I’m sure they taste bad.

First, one should never apologize for loving the things you love. I love pop culture, weird oddities, and randomness. This one I pretty much already abide by willingly these days. Being 40 now, I openly taunt normalcy with my blue hair, my tattoos and piercings, and a love of costume jewelry and hair things. Hubby may roll his eyes at some of my choices, but he has learned in our eighteen years of being together that all he’s going to get in return is my pierced tongue sticking out at him.

Second piece of Lawson’s method is to fake it like you know what you’re doing. Hell, as an artist this is stupidly easy because honestly historically NONE of us know what we’re doing and art critics were only created in order to help bullshit the public into believing that we DID know what we were doing the whole time! If someone asks about why I’m doing something, I’ll bullshit my way out of it with my sparkling brilliance! Or my usual response, “Why not?”

Third nugget of Lawson’s wisdom is the hardest one for me personally as it’s one of my greatest weaknesses: it’s okay to fail and okay to retreat for a bit. Failing makes me spiral, as it’s connected to some of my abuse recovery as well as my ADD. But Lawson’s, as well as my therapist, advice is to listen to what my body is telling me, respect it, acknowledge my emotions, and don’t push myself too far. Little steps at my own pace makes the potential for anxiety lower. When I’m not feeling social and just want to burrow, I have to give myself permission to do this sometimes. Hubby knows now to not push too hard, yet knows how to make sure I don’t burrow too deeply for too long.

Fourth in the lineup is the most important thing to remember: never, EVER forget that you matter to someone, and that someone’s day is better for you being a part of it. Hubby loves to watch me be a dork, the oddball floating on a unicorn inter-tube down the Sea of Normal. We go to Dickens faire for his birthday, and this last one I attached my plush octopus Jose de Pulpo to my shoulder to go with my tentacle top hat. I kept getting compliments on Jose, especially by kids who I let pet Jose, and even helped another little girl attach her own octopus to her shoulder. Hubby remarked to me later that the best part of his birthday was watching how I lit up each time someone approached me. He said, “I know that I can cast a big shadow, and that often you’ve found yourself under it. But watching you get attention for being, well, you, was more fun to watch than anything else.” *swoon* Damn I love that man!

So I’ve decided to give the middle finger to feeling like shit stuffed inside a bag. I refuse to be sent back to where I was: unemployed…..in Greenland!! Wait,…………………………..no, that’s Princess Bride. Sorry about that. (turns TV down) I refuse to crawl into the hole my mother has, and most importantly I don’t want end up in a motor scooter. At the very least not until my nineties. When I’m stylishly old like Auntie Mame and throwing confetti around the most awesome old folks home. I am going to be scary happy! Hubby may end up wanting a dart gun that hits me with 100ccs of Thorazine under some notion that it will prevent my possible incarceration in a mental ward because of something I did at the grocery store, but I see that as further evidence of his love for me.

Forty is the new forty

I’m now middle age. *blinks* Yup, nothing different other than I’ll need to update my drivers licence photo next year.

New semester at school has begun. Learning to paint with oil paint which is just ridiculously annoying. Its like painting with cake frosting which would actually be better because then I get to lick the paint brushes and not risk poisoning myself with toxic stuff. Plus, cake frosting doesn’t smell horrible. And doesn’t have a risk of spontaneously bursting into flames either. Although, I’m sure that it could happen depending on what kind of frosting it is and who’s making it. I suppose that frosting made by a cartoon villain would be potentially  dangerous, especially if they were trying to outsmart say that annoying asshole Roadrunner. Seriously, that damn bird is just a troll that needs to be stopped! He’s such a prick!! Beep Beep motherfucker! I see you! I know you’re just trying to cause trouble so just run your feathery ass outta here!

Where was I?

Oh yeah, I got old. So Hubby gave me an awesome present by taking me down to LA for a day to have dinner with some dear friends that I haven’t seen in forever at my all time favorite restaurant. A place full of meat and tasty bad for you stuff!! I really wish I could find a place like it here in the Bay but sadly I haven’t. Had an evening of insane laughter, cute baby introduction, and MEAT!!! nomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnom!! I developed a cold earlier in the week so I was a bit off due to my lungs having gunk and my ears being worn out from being irritated. But I managed to fight it off enough to ejoy myself this weekend. Had a very small get together the next night at the house with Bay friends so overall it was a fabulous weekend.

He asked me if I felt different at all being 40 and I really don’t. I mean, the new medication is most certainly helping keep the head weasels in check and I haven’t been feeling like I’m dragging a 4000 pound boulder everywhere with me, which is good. But I don’t feel like I’m great or even thumbs up, just …………………..fine. Meh, I guess its the best I could ask for right now. One step at a time.

My art work is improving, which makes me happy. I hope to start creating a website soon in order to begin actually selling stuff. Probably an Etsy shop too. If I’m going to make being an artist my full time gig, I have to actually be making it my job which means I’m throwing my entire fat ass at the process. Can’t lazy it up, gotta makes the dough. I’ll probably also work on creating some sewing items that I can make that I can sell at fairs or events. I may end up working on getting into those too. Whatever it takes.

Being now the dreaded “middle age” just means I’ve got shit that still needs to be done. People to wreck, places to do! And candy to devour! So much chocolate to consume! Age is just a number in the end. Its the life lived that matters.

Screaming Internal Head Monkeys would make a great band name!

Summer breaks really suck honestly. Like, they suck ridiculously massive sized bowls of dicks that are sucking other bowls of dicks, which makes for a disturbing image that now is probably going to haunt my dreams later. Let’s just say, there is a lot of sucking happening here people!!

For my summer art progress, I have managed to so far make one small fluid painting, and two color pencil drawings that helped me practice with the medium a bit. I’m now working on a Fiona Apple image that goes with my Tori Amos one I’m so in love with. I’m now, more then ever, convinced that I will need to get a studio outside the house that I can treat like a job that I go to because I NEED to not be just stuck here, mentally or otherwise. Better lighting, more space, and most importantly, OUTSIDE OF THE HOUSE!!!

I’ve got a bit of the Screaming Internal Head Monkeys today. I want to scream but its only going to freak out the dog and frighten the neighbors. Whenever I’m depressed AND bored, it becomes this toxic cocktail for my inner monologue. I feel like peeling my own skin off because its just twitchy and feels like its got things crawling around inside it. Body image issues blossom into ever so delightfully annoying mean girl voices singing a chorus of all the ways in which I suck. And finally, a cherry on top of this, I have too much mental energy that’s wrestling with my physical energy which feels like a 100 ton pound boulder chained to me.

So, to provide a visual representation of what my Screaming Internal Head Monkeys are making me feel like today I give you this:
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Stupid asshole brain!! Just kinda want to randomly throw things or smash something. *sigh* Having ADD and depression fucking sucks, people!!!

I’ll be starting a new medication tomorrow. Yay. I have been taking Wellbutrin for several years now but noticed it wasn’t working as well. So my doctor decided to add Lexapro to see if it will boost my mood up a bit. Three months later and it hasn’t helped any. So I’m weening off the Lexapro and onto Cymbalta to see if that will help any. Was a bit annoyed to find out that my current insurance doesn’t cover my Adderall, so I’m going to be further off of it until next month when my new insurance starts. Then I can refill the prescription without having to pay over $100 for it!! (Oh, and go fuck yourselves Big Pharma and Insurance companies. You stink.) I also had to find a new primary physician because my previous one moved to a different office which has a membership fee of $149/ year, which I didn’t see as worth paying for. So found a new doctor closer to me and we shall see how she works out. I really liked my old doctor. She was so damn easy going! Oh well, maybe this one will be just as nice.

On a more happier note, I get to Lilymonster in almost a month. AND she gets to have grandma and grandpa time!!! I can’t wait to see her be the ball of joy that I love her for. Even though it’s only for a brief few days, seeing Mom having ALL of her grandkids around her will be worth it. I wish I had time to show her Star Wars or Labyrinth or something like that, but I don’t think it will work out. Another time I suppose! I just can’t wait to hug her and see her. That’s my joy at the moment.

I can’t figure out how to end this. I don’t have any kind of witty way or glitter bomb to drop that leaves this on an up note. So instead I’ll quote Bob’s Burgers:

“I was gonna hit you, but I’m holding wine!”

 

Brain dumps

Have you ever felt like there are things just crawling around under your skin that travel the paths of your own thoughts? Like, you’ll be laying there, trying to relax and then you’re struck by this intense need to just peel off your own skin because it feels so foreign and wrong and uncomfortable that you just can’t stand it anymore. Just rip it off like some Scooby Doo villain reveal.

Every inch of me I want to tear apart and start over. Head over to the body parts store, pick up all new parts like I’m rebuilding a car in my garage. New hair, new eyes, new torso, new arms, new butt, new knees, new spark plugs, the works! Earl Shine would paint my ass for $19.95!! I just want out of this skin. I know this is hormonal shift, depression wanting to beginning, anxiety linked to stress, and lack of a constant stable routine, but it is still annoying as hell.

I have been successful in keeping myself working on things. I got at least 2 of my elements paintings done or at least very close to done. I traced out the photos for my color pencil drawings today so that project is set to begin at some point next week. Once those are done, I’ll pull out the sewing machine. I have some fabric that I can use as right now I can’t buy anything. I hope I have thread, haven’t checked on that yet.

But skin crawlings is frustrating me. I need the weather to get better so I can go outside to just chill. You’re not helping weather!!! It’s almost June, act correctly! *pouts*

*deep breaths* I am one with the Force, and the Force is with me.

Fuck you skin.

Projects, projects, projects, keeps the insanity away!

Another semester is down and only one left to go! This one was pretty light in the way of work, but the stress was most certainly there. Hit a financial snag right at the start of it, thanks to the actions of a sick individual that I’d LOVE nothing more than to see ripped apart by a pack of starving crazed weasels with rabies. (Karma, come on! I believe its your turn up to bat, buddy!) The ceramics class was fun, frustrating, but cool to play with. I ended up with half a bag of clay left over so I’ll have to figure out what to do with, as well as how to fire it.

Drawing class was extremely frustrating, but I did however get to learn how to use color pencils better and THAT has inspired a massive urge to play with them more. The final assignment was to do a photo copy replica of an image based on other artists who work with color pencils. I picked an image of one of my obsessions, Tori Amos. I discovered her music in 1994, right at a time when I was trying to block out all of things that were tearing me apart. Her music got me through some of my toughest moments; moments when I was so close to not surviving them. Her songs were like the caring hugs that I needed during those times. When I turned 21, I got the piano notes of one of her songs tattooed on my right ankle with her favorite flowers wrapped around the notes. (Side note: Fiona Apple has also become just as important as Tori to me. Her stuff has been the rope I grab onto during dark moments. I plan on getting one of her songs tattooed on the other ankle) So when I needed to do a photo to draw, she was the first thing that came to mind. I chose an older image of Tori from around the time I discovered her to do as I figured it was fitting. It turned out amazing in my opinion. Several people in class mentioned how much they thought it looked good, and because of it I want to do more drawing like it. Here’s the image for all to enjoy. (Or at least those that actually read this blog.)
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I think I did an amazing job, so I don’t care what anyone else says. Its my first time working with color pencils and I got a chance to understand how to color properly. Over the summer break, one of my personal tasks is to do at least three of these so that I can practice.

Speaking of summer plans, the scheduling of projects has begun so that I don’t lose my mind. I think I’m going to actually print up a work schedule so that I can stick to a routine, which always makes for a less crazy Strange Child! I’ve got my parents 50th in July, so I’ve got some crafting decorations to make. The projects I want to work on are as follows:
Finish my four elements paintings
3 Color pencil drawings
Sewing practice
New front door wreath
Eye flower bouquets
art studio organization
Random abstract artworks
clitoris sculpture for cousin

I will have to also schedule in workouts, getting out of the house (maybe even with Daisy), and hopefully some reading. The sewing practice is to help me prepare for the Doctor Who convention that we’ll be going to in February. I need to plan and make my costumes I want to cosplay. So excited for that! Hubby is also going to cosplay! EEEEEEEE! (happy dance) I’m going to have to make a dress form which I’m not looking forward to. (Oh yay, I get to look at a physical sculpture of my fat carcass.) I want to attempt a dress at the very least. I can get through a circle skirt so far, and I’ve got some throw pillows that need to be finished, but if I can manage a dress I’m gold!

So many projects!! Hopefully I will be able to be too busy to let the brain demons attack me. I don’t want to sink, so I’m laying out the ropes before the water gets too high.